Ten years ago today I got married. WOW! I remember thinking about this day, how it seemed so far away. I remember thinking that if we could make it to our ten year anniversary then we would be just fine. We were married in the LDS church and Bishop Homer married us. I didn't wear a fancy dress and it was super small, just close friends and family were there. We always talked about how we would have a real party when we went through the temple. About 22 months later we were sealed in the temple and had no celebration aside from a cake at my parents' house. Then we always talked about how at our 10 year anniversary we would have a reception. At the start of the year we contemplated it, but it just didn't work out. So here we are with big plans for tonight. Go to the temple, come home, eat some homemade Cafe Rio burritos and then do some homework :) Fun huh? I am just happy to have a night off, eat some yummy food and go to the temple with my best friend.
We didn't get married under ideal circumstances. I was pregnant. I got pregnant at my senior prom. Almost makes you laugh right? When it finally came out that I was pregnant I had already been accepted to BYU and was devastated. I went to California to live with my Aunt and the plan was to put the baby up for adoption. I quit talking to Josh and got a job and picked out a family to adopt the baby. On my 18th birthday Josh sent me an e-mail. That changed everything. We began to talk and my feelings towards Josh started to change from anger back to the love that I had felt for him. We talked for another five weeks and we decided that we wanted to get married. It was important for me to know that I wanted to be with him because I loved him and not just because I was going to have a baby. Those times were crazy and my emotions and thoughts were overwhelming. As I look back on our first couple of years I am still amazed. I know that we were led through some strenuous times by our Heavenly Father. I remember hearing things in those first few months about how friends and acquaintances were talking about us and giving us 6-12 months before we split. That made me so mad!
We kept moving forward, I was in school and Josh got a decent job. Things were going pretty well. We were sealed in the temple in August of 2002 and that gave me some confidence in our relationship and a little peace of mind. We had set the goal of going through the temple within 2 years and we made it. A few months later we were excited to find out that baby number 2 was on it's way (we had been trying for a couple of months). Ethan joined our family the following summer. He was such a mellow baby and child. It was a much needed difference in our home. When Ethan was a year we bought our first house. It was a wonderful house that we had built and it gave us room to grow. A few years later I planned on going back to school and about a week after initially contacting the school we had a surprise when we found out that Preston was on his way. Although he wasn't planned I knew that he was supposed to be coming to our family at that time.
As our family changed and we went through career changes and sold our home and went back to school we were growing up. We were just kids when we started out but we were determined to make it work. We had similar goals in life and were willing to sacrifice for one another. As I get to know other teenagers and young adults in my life the more I realize how lucky we were to make it through those hard times stronger and more dedicated to one another. Last night as we lied in bed I told Josh that I would love to know what our moms were thinking about us on our wedding day and now what they think 10 years later. I hope that my children never make the choices that we made but I pray that if they do that they have the maturity to deal with them and grow from them.
These 10 years haven't been flawless and we haven't made the best choices every step of the way but we know that we aren't perfect. Over the last couple of years we have had a number of friends struggle in their marriages and have seen some of those marriages end in divorce. It has given me a wake-up call. I know that every day I have to work on my marriage. It isn't something that can be taken for granted. I have also learned that you have to be willing to share your thoughts and feelings. Even if your spouse doesn't agree with them or it makes them upset. I have found that if Josh knows where I am coming from and knows my thought process then it helps him have a better understanding. Everyone is different but I know that what we have works for us and I love my husband and I still look forward to the moments that we get to spend together.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Frumpy Dump
Alright, this post has been nagging at me for quite some time. A couple of weeks ago I had a bad day. Nothing looked right and I was just frustrated with myself, I was standing in the bathroom looking in the mirror and almost had tears in my eyes. Josh walked in and we talked a little bit. I told him I felt like a frumpy dump. He laughed at my word choice and of course assured me that I am not a frumpy dump. It wasn't too many days later that I was getting ready to walk out the door for work. My hair was done, my make-up on, and I put my super cool new aviator sunglasses on (Old Navy $2.99.) Josh just looked at me and told me I looked like I was trying to be 21. I told him that I was just trying to be the age I AM and that my new sunglasses were super cool and I walked out the door. When I got to work I walked in and took off my sunglasses. One of my male co-workers said, "look at you miss Heather Locklear with your new hair (I recently got my hair done and it is pretty blond) and shades taking them off all cool like that." This particular co-worker of mine is strange and loud by I will take the compliment anyways. Thank you Jarvis.
So I have been thinking about these events quite a bit lately. I hate feeling frumpy! I take pride in the way I look. I am not skinny, nor am I overweight. I am not comfortable wearing super trendy clothes or clothes that are too tight or revealing. I leave the super trendy to my skinny younger sisters :) I have a personal style that works for me, I understand that I am not 21 but I am still only 28. Yes, I am the mother to four children. But that doesn't mean that I have to dress like I am 40 or 50 years old or that I just got done working out when we both know that I didn't.
One morning when Kendra was in 1st grade I was getting ready to take her to school. I was wearing workout pants and a sweatshirt just like every morning. She kindly looked at me and asked me if I was going to get dressed today. I knew exactly what she was trying to say by the look on her face and her tone. So I asked her if she would like it if mommy got ready before I took her to school and picked her up. She politely said yes. That moment changed me forever.
Looking like I take care of myself and dressing stylish doesn't cost me a ton of money or take me forever either. I enjoy hunting for the best deals and I am an avid "couponer." I like to splurge on my jeans and only do that every few years. And I am talking like 70-100 dollars, it could be much worse. Good jeans are the basis for everything so I willing to pay more and sometimes I find good ones for 20-40 bucks. But seriously, good jeans make me feel like a million dollars.f I shop online a lot and use coupon codes and almost ALWAYS get free shipping. I can sew. I make things and I am able to alter things that don't fit quite right. I buy all my makeup at target. I use the Internet as a huge resource. For instance, I was having issues with my make-up. It just never looked really good. I wanted Amy to teach me her tricks when we met up in Park City last spring but we never had time. So when I got home I googled make-up tips. I found an awesome website with video tutorials and everything. I learned SO much! Anyways, I guess the point I am trying to make with this paragraph is that it has taken me a little bit of effort but not a ton of time or very much money. After my incident with Kendra years ago I knew that there was no excuse good enough for letting myself go. I owe it to my children and my husband to look good for them and myself.
I love Dr. Laura's book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." Her views are similar to mine and I read chapters from her book pretty regularly. It helps me to stay focused on being a good wife. Anyways one of the reasons I try to take care of myself, besides doing it for myself, is for my husband. Ten years ago, (almost to the day) Josh married a pretty cute 18 year old. Even though we have both gotten older and put on a little weight I still want to be my cutest self for him. Impressing my husband is important to me. No he isn't always going to think I am the hottest girl around and he has seen me at my absolute WORST. But he needs to know that young cute girl is still in there and that she still likes to get dolled up for him.
Do I look good all of the time? NO WAY! Do I still take the kids to school in pajamas? YUP! But I come home and get ready for the day and I make sure that I don't look out of date and that I am dressing appropriately. I may only get my hair done twice a year but I know how to style it and am not afraid to try new things. Despite all of my efforts I sometimes still have days where I feel like a frump. But I guess the important thing is that I try my best not to give in to my inner Frumpy Dump.
So I have been thinking about these events quite a bit lately. I hate feeling frumpy! I take pride in the way I look. I am not skinny, nor am I overweight. I am not comfortable wearing super trendy clothes or clothes that are too tight or revealing. I leave the super trendy to my skinny younger sisters :) I have a personal style that works for me, I understand that I am not 21 but I am still only 28. Yes, I am the mother to four children. But that doesn't mean that I have to dress like I am 40 or 50 years old or that I just got done working out when we both know that I didn't.
One morning when Kendra was in 1st grade I was getting ready to take her to school. I was wearing workout pants and a sweatshirt just like every morning. She kindly looked at me and asked me if I was going to get dressed today. I knew exactly what she was trying to say by the look on her face and her tone. So I asked her if she would like it if mommy got ready before I took her to school and picked her up. She politely said yes. That moment changed me forever.
Looking like I take care of myself and dressing stylish doesn't cost me a ton of money or take me forever either. I enjoy hunting for the best deals and I am an avid "couponer." I like to splurge on my jeans and only do that every few years. And I am talking like 70-100 dollars, it could be much worse. Good jeans are the basis for everything so I willing to pay more and sometimes I find good ones for 20-40 bucks. But seriously, good jeans make me feel like a million dollars.f I shop online a lot and use coupon codes and almost ALWAYS get free shipping. I can sew. I make things and I am able to alter things that don't fit quite right. I buy all my makeup at target. I use the Internet as a huge resource. For instance, I was having issues with my make-up. It just never looked really good. I wanted Amy to teach me her tricks when we met up in Park City last spring but we never had time. So when I got home I googled make-up tips. I found an awesome website with video tutorials and everything. I learned SO much! Anyways, I guess the point I am trying to make with this paragraph is that it has taken me a little bit of effort but not a ton of time or very much money. After my incident with Kendra years ago I knew that there was no excuse good enough for letting myself go. I owe it to my children and my husband to look good for them and myself.
I love Dr. Laura's book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." Her views are similar to mine and I read chapters from her book pretty regularly. It helps me to stay focused on being a good wife. Anyways one of the reasons I try to take care of myself, besides doing it for myself, is for my husband. Ten years ago, (almost to the day) Josh married a pretty cute 18 year old. Even though we have both gotten older and put on a little weight I still want to be my cutest self for him. Impressing my husband is important to me. No he isn't always going to think I am the hottest girl around and he has seen me at my absolute WORST. But he needs to know that young cute girl is still in there and that she still likes to get dolled up for him.
Do I look good all of the time? NO WAY! Do I still take the kids to school in pajamas? YUP! But I come home and get ready for the day and I make sure that I don't look out of date and that I am dressing appropriately. I may only get my hair done twice a year but I know how to style it and am not afraid to try new things. Despite all of my efforts I sometimes still have days where I feel like a frump. But I guess the important thing is that I try my best not to give in to my inner Frumpy Dump.
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